What Catchphrases and Euphemisms Is Your College or University Using to Sell Itself to Prospective Students?


Writing for U.S. News and World Report, Luke Mullins has compiled “The Real Estate Euphemism Pocket Translator.”

Here is a sample of the entries:

Cozy Home: Too small for your big-screen TV.

East Access to Everywhere: Can mean backing up to an expressway.

Finishing Touches Needed: Often means lighting, hardware, paint, wood trim, and carpet.

Grandma’s House: It hasn’t been updated since she moved in and smells like her.

Light and Bright: Everything is white. White ceramic tile for flooring and bright white paint on everything else. Looks like a hospital.

Light and Airy Basement: You can see sunlight through the cracks in the foundation.

Low-Maintenance Front Yard: The front yard is paved over with concrete or asphalt.

Mechanic’s Dream: A real dump but with a large garage.

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